Struggles

Parenting struggles tonight, guys. It’s real. When your kid tells you they’d be happy if their sibling died it’s hard to hear or understand. I mean, they play together? They are all fun and cute and sometimes fight but something is very wrong for A to feel like that. Fast forward through to bedtime. I […]

Crankypants

Some serious shits gone down since last we spoke. Lover and I made the move happen…we are now in a new apartment. At the time, that caused me an unbelievable amount of stress. I was also feeling alot of old emotional pain…old. Maybe childhood, I dont know. Then we went to Oregon. It was amazing. […]

The Unexpected

Plot twist – my lovely little apartment that Lover and I have made a home with our children has been found covered in mold and we have to move out. So that’s exciting. We have just a couple weeks to find a new place and move all the stuff out. Which stressed me out to […]

Changes, or, Meditation

Or both. Last week I started a new job, one that I hope will bring new opportunities. Also, since we last spoke I went camping with Lover + kids, to a sober music festival, watched a meteor shower from inside a hatchback in a cornfield, went boating, started regularly attending a womens meeting, and baked […]

Camping

Yep. Nobody puts J in a corner, except, you know…J. We had a ton of fun though. The girls were great, really well behaved and we stayed busy the whole time. Even relaxing seemed like we did alot, coloring and fires and marshmallows. I gained 4 pounds. And that’s with constant activity. Let’s get some […]

Little plans and designs

I enrolled my daughter A in dance at the beginning of the school year. She says she loves it, and it is so fun to see her 6 year old cuteness doing the ballet and tap in practice. My ex husband had no interest- he would not contribute in funds or time, which made it […]

Appreciation

Lately we’ve been listening to a meditation entitled “abundance”. I don’t recall much about it, as it plays while we’re falling asleep but I have it on the brain today. So full. My life is abundant. Yesterday I studied math in the sunshine, went for a run, studied in the sun while Lover grilled a […]

Day 61

Today is my 61st day without a cigarette. I’m still getting urges here and there, but it’s not so bad. I see smokers now, and think with surprise oh hey, I used to do that! I’ve been playing alot of chess lately. I’ve beaten a few online opponents on the app I’m using. I’ve mostly […]

Abundance

I’m sitting in a room, listening to a motivational speaker talking about resilience mindsets. She asks us to close our eyes, and envision our perfect day. I put aside my math homework (because let’s be honest, I wasn’t paying attention for the first hour and a half) and close my eyes. My perfect day…I’ve had […]