Day 52

I missed yesterday, which is sad because I had a pretty good day. Today, I’ve been sick with body aches and fever again so it’s been kind of a blur of herbal teas and hiding under the blanket on the couch with the kitten snuggling. Not too bad when you’re sick.

I got a keyboard yesterday to practice my piano playing. I was so excited about that (and possibly) some other things I was told I was glowing at the meeting. I practiced twice on it, albeit for short increments. I’m hoping I can practice more tonight. Chords are difficult for me, and my fingers are used to typing so they move off their designated keys when I’m not paying attention. Practice will help if I keep on it.

We covered the tenth step at the meeting last night. That would be “continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” 

This is intended to be done on a daily basis, reviewing at night to see where we were selfish, dishonest, fearful, or generally an asshole. (My words) 

I am not good at this. Doing anything on a daily basis is hard for me, with the exception of the medication I take so I don’t pass out every time I stand up. Aaand there’s the excuse. When I don’t do this, stuff builds up and I’m contacting my sponsor to do another step 4 and 5 on a yearly basis. Not good. 

The reason I bring this up, is because I did a couple crappy things yesterday, one at work and the other at dinner after the meeting. I’m not sure how to make those things right. This is where I should seek guidance from my sponsor or another sober alcoholic. Not to make excuses, but I’m so exhausted I can barely function so if I can I will make some phone calls tonight to seek advice on how to rectify my misdeeds.

1. Herbal tea. I got some turmeric ginger tea, and felt better for a bit after drinking some. I feel another cup is in order.

2. Brownies. I’m a sucker for sweets but when I’m sick it seems like I’m more prone to it than I otherwise would be. I made some caramel pecan brownies, gluten and dairy free of course, and think it might have been my best batch of all time. They are perfect.

3. A good book is key when you’re lying around, and I have one to fill the void left from the Wheel of Time. I’m reading War Brides by Helen Bryan. I love historical fiction and this doesn’t disappoint.

4. A walk with the little people. It was really hard to get up but I was talked into it by my adorable huge eyed babies and as much as I’m tired and achy it’s beautiful out. 

5. It’s almost bedtime. Shortly I will bathe the children, and put J to bed while snuggling A, who gets to stay up later. She’s big enough where I feel comfortable falling asleep on the couch while she watches cartoons and it sounds sooo good. I’m almost there!

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