Day 50

I’m between activities at the moment and I’m super excited for the next thing so time is dragging for me. 
In a few hours, I will go to my first ever piano lesson.

This is a really big deal for me. I’ve always wanted to take lessons and play since I was small. My parents couldn’t afford it, and then later on when they could my mom said No one would teach me if we didn’t have a piano to practice on, which we also couldn’t afford. One Christmas, they gave me a keyboard and I loved that thing so much. I spent hours playing with it, but I couldn’t read music and didn’t get very far. 

In high school, I took classes in audio and recording. This was my passion. I learned to read music and created music with drum machines and keyboard. But then I started drinking and smoking pot. I wanted to go study recording after high school, but I’d stopped progressing. My teacher told me, gently that it wasn’t the right direction for me. I was crushed, and let it all go.

Later on, when I stopped drinking life got a hold of me. I’d look at my keyboard and think about playing it again but never did, I had too many other things going on. When I stopped playing it, my writing stopped too. No more poems or songs or diary entries. And for more than a decade I let the music go, content to live in the music other people created. I eventually stopped thinking about it, and only occasionally recalled the person I used to be when I ran into people I used to do music with a long time ago.

I was having a conversation with someone about music, and my past came up. My intense desire as a kid to have those lessons. I’d signed my kids up for dance classes and the thought came to me, why don’t I take a lesson? At the very least, I can check it off the bucket list.

Now, here I am. 32, two kids, getting divorced and homeless by definition. My keyboard is locked away at my ex’s house where I can’t get it. I have nothing to practice with right now and I  dont care. I can feel it pulling on me, the desire to learn and create. 

I purposely chose an instructor who advertises as non traditional and also teaches recording. I want to remember how to do it. Who knows if I’ll even stick with it. I’m going to give it a shot today and see if the Lynn who was so passionate about it years and years ago is still there.

This instructor has no idea what’s coming. I can’t wait.

1. A good morning with my girls. No fighting with them. We had our breakfast and got dressed and played outside before I took them to daycare. It was the experience of parenting I always want to have but never do.

2. Yoga class. I went to one, it was my second class and I like it. It was relaxing. I wanted a workout but my higher power thought I needed relaxation instead so I’m going with it.

3. Peach pie. I made it with fresh, overly ripe peaches. I didn’t use a recipe so it’s more like peach soup in a crust. Also I don’t think it thickened enough but it’s still peachy and delicious and I ate two pieces for lunch. 

I’ll write 4 and 5 after the nights activities and lesson happen.

4. The lesson. I learned to play Mary Had a Little Lamb, with a chord, in minor. It sounds dark in minor key. I liked it. I’m so freaking happy and excited to learn to play, I’ve wanted to for so long. My instructor found a keyboard for me on Craigslist and I might go after it.

5. I was cooked for again, grass fed steak with zucchini on the side. I feel full and healthy and it was sooo good. 🙂

Life right now is incredibly good. I’m really happy with how things are going right now. Potentially I can look for housing this week and the divorce will be finalized shortly. 

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