Ok. Not really day 35. I was naughty and skipped a couple days. In my defense, yesterday was a piece of work only the devil could have created. And Monday was no better.
I keep hearing things have to get worse before they can get better. I wonder how that’s possible sometimes. Oh, I KNOW things could be worse. Many people have it so much worse than I do. But denying my life is painful now is denying the feelings I need to feel. And I want to feel those painful awful things only as long as I need to so I can enjoy the good things when they come to their absolute fullest. I believe they’ll come someday. And until then…
1. Green Light by Lorde. I can’t stand her music generally speaking, but I’m drinking this song like water.
2. Since we’re on the music topic, my other new song is Fatal Gift by Emily Haines and The Soft Skeleton. There’s a piece in the melody at the beginning, and it calls me.
3. Had a smoke with some coworkers I don’t talk to fairly regularly, and they made me laugh. For once the conversation was not about me and maybe I should make more of a habit of that.
4. Meeting night. Mixed feelings about it right now, but ultimately it’s home. Pretty much the only home I’ve got right now.
5. Had a long conversation with another single parent. This technically happened yesterday but the conversation crossed midnight so it counts. Anyway. I have another person who’s dealing with similar issues and it’s such a gigantic relief that someone else GETS it.