Appreciation

Lately we’ve been listening to a meditation entitled “abundance”. I don’t recall much about it, as it plays while we’re falling asleep but I have it on the brain today.

So full. My life is abundant.

Yesterday I studied math in the sunshine, went for a run, studied in the sun while Lover grilled a delicious dinner, went to a meeting. It was so great.

Even more so because I normally don’t run unless, kickball. (Holy SHIT do I hurt today)

On the way to the meeting last night, we stumbled onto a radio interview with a former baseball player who now does some sort of counseling/life coaching. He was talking about appreciation. It was really interesting, he said something to the effect of “no one ever comes up to me after a talk and says, ‘I’m so over appreciated’.” He said theres a chemical reaction in the brain that happens when we give verbal appreciation to another person, and also that marriages without mutual appreciation fail.

It made me think about my relationship with Lover. Something we talk about is recognizing and speaking our gratitude and appreciation for each other. How good it feels to hear it. And how it is heartfelt when its said. (So many warm fuzzies right now)

I was also thinking of this today when emailing a colleague to ask her to stop copying myself and others on her approval emails. I threw in a paragraph about how much I appreciate her prompt approvals for her orders, and it makes my job easier that she does it. She responded that I made her day. Something so simple as telling her the truth about how I appreciate her work made her day. Which in turn, made mine.

  1. Grapes. Omg…my boss brought in these juicy red grapes and they are so good!
  2. A fantastic GI doctor. We made a plan for treating my stomach stuff that is homeopathic and unique to me. I’m excited, and feel really good about it. Plus. She’s just cool and I enjoy talking to her.
  3. Sexistential Crisis, by Battle Toys. I got a prerelease of their new music and have been enjoying it all morning. I think that song is my favorite so far.
  4. Seeing my girls tonight after a long weekend without them. I miss my girls.
  5. An amazing breakfast from Lover, cooked for me, and eaten while discussing Nothing Compares 2 U. My breakfasts with him make me so happy, and it’s so hard to leave for work. The best part of my day so far.

Now, please enjoy this artwork my two year old did on my phone. I think its great.

Day 61

Today is my 61st day without a cigarette. I’m still getting urges here and there, but it’s not so bad. I see smokers now, and think with surprise oh hey, I used to do that!

I’ve been playing alot of chess lately. I’ve beaten a few online opponents on the app I’m using. I’ve mostly been playing against Lover, who has now beaten me 26 times but I’m getting better…I’m going to beat him soon. I’m also going to ask him to write a guest post as well soon. He has a theory on chess as it relates to life in recovery that is fascinating. I’m hoping he’ll be willing to share it, but of course…he can write about whatever he wants

1. A gym membership! I actually got it a couple weeks ago (thank you Lover) but its helping my seasonal moods by giving me the exercise my body is craving. I feel sore and wonderful simultaneously.

2. Pho for lunch today. Mmmm…

3. Booked a camping adventure with Hannah and my sister in a few months. Hopefully winter will be over in July and we can maybe hike without snow boots. In any case I’m excited…its so fun with them.

4. A delicious cup of root beer, freely provided by customer appreciation at work. So good it’s bad.

5. Getting to see my girls tonight after work. I haven’t seen them all weekend, and I miss them very much.

Also, bonus round…i got an A on my math test yesterday! Oh yeah!

Abundance

I’m sitting in a room, listening to a motivational speaker talking about resilience mindsets. She asks us to close our eyes, and envision our perfect day.

I put aside my math homework (because let’s be honest, I wasn’t paying attention for the first hour and a half) and close my eyes.

My perfect day…I’ve had so many recently, this is easy.

I’m with Lover, and all three kids. We wake up on a weekend, have breakfast. We take our time getting ready. We go to the St. Patrick’s day parade, then to the store for dinner food. We eat a nice meal together. It’s nice out, we take the kids to the park and run and play. We come home, we bathe the kids who are covered in mud, make popcorn and watch the Princess Bride as a family. So much love and happiness surround us.

This is it…life. It’s so good.

****

Lately, my job has been awful. I’m not going to go into details, but I’m crying at my desk or ready to punch something or walk out half the time. Its not good.

Yesterday a couple things happened. Someone I know took a job in the same company I work for, and was asking me questions about insurance plans and benefits. She is so excited- the benefits are really great. She kept saying how much better they are here than what she’s used to.

She’s absolutely right. The benefits are really good, and better than I’d get outside my company.

The other thing that happened, was a coworker from another department came up to talk to me and my boss about issues with her department that will affect us in our department. There’s a supervisor that overspent her budget, is extremely hostile to her assistant, and is setting the assistant up to take the fall for her spending. And I’m thinking to myself, it could be so much worse-I could be working in that environment.

So, today has a theme- job positivity!

  1. I have great coworkers. Really. I complain sometimes about so-and-so not doing this or that, but we do care about each other and I truly like them as wonderful humans and maybe even friends.
  2. Great benefits. I have good insurance and retirement. A few people I know don’t have that and I’m grateful for it.
  3. I make enough money. A liveable wage. I’m living close to the edge, but not so close I cant go out to dinner every so often.
  4. I live close enough to my work, and daycare is on the way that I don’t have a huge commute. It’s well located as far as my kids go.
  5. My workplace is very encouraging of higher education, and has paid for me to take classes that aren’t job related. This is an amazing benefit.

I may have a really hard time of it sometimes, but remembering the really good stuff makes it easier to get through it.